Tuesday, February 9, 2010
hello bloggie =D I'm back to update though it seems dead in my blog now... haha! (:
I guess for today my entry would be a lot of reflection of what happened lately in my network security project? I guess I made a really angry decision but I did not execute it though... This is what really happened to me as I was doing this subject project. I guess all along I was doing this project alone and I was so lost and not knowing what to do?? I was in the lab figuring out how to do Snort, IDSCentre and KIWI. I began to feel so stress and I was not behaving like the usual ben and just going crazy! lol... it sounds crazy huh? I guess it was all just so tiring for me and I feel so angry within me... I shared to the whole world that my group never do project.. All my friends around me said just kill them! It means to just report this to my teacher and leave them to fail this project... I guess in my heart, I knew it was wrong to just do such a bad stuff but I still like wanting to follow what they said you know?? It was just so tough!! RAH! I guess finally the day that the project that is needed to be handed up? I was so pissed because the report wasn't done and not the way I wanted it to be?? OMGOOSHIE! the report was crappy as we handed in... If NO REPORT, means no DEMO! I thought anyway this is the best I can do for it, if my demo is alright, let it be... I may not be able to get A anyway?? In fact at the end of the day, I demo-ed to my project supervisor and the rest of my members did not say anything while i was demo-ing, so the supervisor asked me to stop talking and asked the rest... The rest did not really indicate what they done, I was like WOW! omgooshie... So I guess my heart was somehow happy... NOW!!
I was like asking my ownself, is this right to feel angry over it?? is this right to feel happy that they didn't get to say what they have done? I guess this was a tough decision for me to decide... I remember Jesus sacrificed Himself on the Cross for all and expect nothing in return... If I got to see my own behaviour in this situation, I am so just imperfect! my gosh! I really am... If I done the project alone, if I could just take another step to just take time to explain to them how it runs maybe that would be much better to cover their ass... hahahs! sounds wrong but it is true la... I guess looking at this situation, I must really learn to love others like how Jesus did... tough time I had (: Jesus was with me throughout this journey of dark time anyway (: Thank you Jesus! (:
HAH! (: time to upload abit of photos huh... =D
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
hello blog! (: I'm back to updating once again. I guess Thursday was a really fast day for me and yet fun day? As I mentioned in my previous entry that I have went down to help my drum teacher setup the drum set. It was fun to meet new musicians and also to see the recital studio backstage. I guess it was a good experience setting up the drum set with my drum teacher somehow. I learn something new about setting up too... I was kind of sad to actually not be able to watch my drum teacher play... RAH! I hope my teacher enjoyed himself (:
The next thing for me was teaching guitar in the Youth Center. I guess it is a big struggle for me as in fact most of the alumni are not really happy with that center. I guess I went back to help to teach the Hai Sing Youth and actually the center people wants to pay me but I don't think there is a need because I love the Youth and not for the money. I hope that they will really consider what I'm doing is loving the Youth! (:
The best thing that happened on Thursday was Cell Group! (: I guess what left me really impressed was how God uses the song I lead the group to sing to worship, somehow someone pray a prayer that links to the song that I gonna do. I thank God for such cool thing! =D The next thing is also learning about Faith.
Faith needs to be fed and to exercise. My cell group also discussed on Matthew 8, about the faith of the centurion. There are 3 points to learn from the Centurion... I forgotten one though but other 2 are the Centurion asked Jesus just to say the word and his servant will be healed and the last is Jesus was astonished of the Centurion's Faith... Think about it? Jesus is God and if He could be astonished by such faith means is a WOW for us to think about. Cell discussion also led to a point for me that is cool and worth remembering... Faith and Prayer unlocks the doors that ur seeking... (: I guess that is all I remembered from cell (:
That's all i got to share
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Hello blog! (: I haven't update for a really long time and I believe my blog is really dead! hahas.. (: actually many things has happened and I do not know how to really indicate what I feel in the blog now? (: I will now just type out what I feel lol... blur! lol
I guess my previous post talks about goldie given away but now she is back with us for least 2 weeks already. why? The owner that took Goldie home has a dog too. Goldie bullied the other dog that the owner owns. The dog got injuried and immediately that guy owner called me and asked me whether he could return Goldie to us? I was like YAY! hahahas... after some time I got some mixed feeling inside me that if Goldie is back, will I really be happy?? lol... actually first few days as she came back, she was sad and not really responding but slowly she was back to herself and playful again (: I really love goldie (: Lovely and Playful dog =D Since she came back, my allergy came back but taken medication and now is so much better! (: I hope that goldie will be my side till army comes... I will miss her definitely... I guess I got to give Goldie away once again... Should I or not give away?? Tough decision... haish... let's see whether my guitar students dad allow? If the dad is okay, maybe just let Goldie go... (: Let go Let God (:
Today I was really frustrated with myself with school project. I guess my reaction in the free access lab is like I'm crazy! T_T I was really just so stressed up and do not know what to do already for my project. I really got stucked and just got crazy and many students looked at me as though I'm crazy?? I was so pissed within me and just so unsure of how to do many things?? Haish! I was really just tired out practically... I didn't eat lunch and dinner proper at all today... I was stressed out and even I told God, I'm tired! So Tired!!
I thank God that as I was on my way to teach guitar, I told God "Please grant me strength to carry on to teach the 2 students with a heart that is willing to share". I got to say that God answered my prayer! (: I was just so glad and I guess after teaching session was over, I was so sleepy and tired! RAH! tired! lol... I reached home about 11pm (:
I have decided to update again since I'm free (: I want to make it my relax night and tomorrow will be a long day! GOSH! I pray that God will grant me strength throughout the day! (: Tomorrow I will be helping my drum teacher Chow Kiat setup his drumset in Esplande =D SO AWESOME! (: I hope I will learnt something in setting up and do good for me! (: 12.15pm at Esplande WOOHOO! (: ROCK ON!
I guess that's all for me in my updating! (: I will update more heh... I do not want to keep my blog dead till army! LOL... I gotta try! lol
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
hey bloggie (: I haven't update few days again... so tiring! RAH! anyway I really thank God for this few days that He kept me strong and kept me moving... (: I guess without Him I may struggle even more bahs (: hahas! (: about goldie, I guess its time for me to slowly let go and move on... the feeling of not her around is still very weird to me but I hope soon it will recover (: I know goldie will have a better place to stay and more attention given unto her (: goldie your my only dog that remains in my heart! (: <3<3 thanks for all the time we spent! (: hahas...
I guess school is really tough now as I got to really spend time more for my project and trying to do my best to just finish up what is necessary! (: I got 2 weeks to demo for my NetSet project! omgooshie so tough can?? I hope I can get my butt moving to do my work if not I scared I fail. Not another term for me please... lol (: I must do my best! ben jiayou! (:
I guess my mum also won't be home from mon to sat so I will be pretty lonely! :( anyone wanna stay over?? call me okay lol... I stop here! (:
Sunday, January 10, 2010
hey bloggie... the weekend has past really fast once again. YAWNS! school again this coming week. so sian so sian! T_T I guess I did nothing much over the weekend... Sat morning had drum lessons with chow kiat learning some cool techno beat =D I can't deny it is fun and it is so awesome alright?? (: I guess I also attended the Elevate Thanksgiving service and it was fun and cool... (: It felt good to enter into the Worship Centre once again... I guess I had an awesome time worshipping God. (: I pray that God will keep me hungry to go for service and loving Him (:
I guess today is a really sad day for me... heart broken!! I guess my dog goldie is given away and I'm so gonna miss her from today onwards. The time she slept with me on the bed, asking me to sayang her, feeding her, playing with her, stealing her soft toy and do wrestling with her? OH MY! I just so miss her now... I wish I could hug her once more... hahahha.... She is my best gf ever in 2009 (: No girls can win goldie (: Goldie is my perfect gf I ever had... (: Every moment spent with you will be in my heart (: I hope Goldie will enjoy her journey ahead in many years... I miss you and I love you my perfect goldie (: LOVE YOU <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
I shall stop here... (: I gotta prepare for school tomorrow... (: NITES!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
hello blog (: I'm back to updating once again... yawns! tired tired! I had a short day in school but had a long day of freedom to me i guess. I actually made a choice to not go for my lecture maybe because Im tired?? Im not sure but and I know is wrong... RAH! next time i should not skip lessons anymore... it is really a bad habit to develop. BEN JIAYOU! (:
I guess today was a great time for me to jam with new musicians too. I met a pretty good bassist and guitarist to jam with! (: We play songs from Red Hot Chilli Peppers. WOW! (: AWESOME MAN! (: I had a great time jamming with them but I guess not every part of the songs i play correctly but it was good definitely. (: The bassist was groovy heh! (: I enjoyed the session with them and more to come next friday for sure. ROCK ON! (: I do not know whether I can cope playing with them as they are planning to have more songs to jam next week. heh heh! (: awesome band to jam with...
I guess today other den that is nothing much for me but last few days was really flooding of projects and stuff.. I hope that I can complete on time and more time will be into project now! I got to work hard and give my best for the last 6 weeks yeah! (: BEN JIAYOU! (: I guess I have successfully done 3 quiet time in home and 1 out of home though (: I guess that is a good start for me and not only that... I hope to really just spend time at home quietly with Him (: I must try! JIAYOU! (: hahas...
I guess I stop here for the entries. I'm heading to bed first and tomorrow shall be prepared for the busy day =D good night blog!
